Katie Scarlett O'Hara, Southern Belle
by Her Name Was Hazel Grace
Summary: I've read multiple fics where readers wake up and they are in Scarlett's shoes. This is my take on what I'd do. Slightly non canon, slightly AU, and very OOC sometimes. Rated M for adult themes and language.
1. Chapter 1

A/N

So, as many of you have, I've always wondered what it would be like to be Scarlett. My temptation got the best of me, and I have began writing this. A few things to start:

Writer's block is a bitch, so do not be heartbroken if you find this story abandoned.

I am dirty, and this story will have its dirty moments.

I will make it my goal to have at least 3,000 words in each chapter, but if that doesn't happen, I'm sorry.

If this story has been abandoned, check out my other one: Burning House

This story is going to be mostly non canon. Hence FAN fiction. Slightly AU, definitely OOC

Lots of love, Red

"Fiddle-dee-dee! War, war, war! Why, all this war talk is ruining all the fun at every party! Besides, there isn't going to be a war." Vivien Leigh's voice was filling up my room, as I watched "Gone with the Wind" for the hundredth time. I know the lines of the movie, and I can recite most of the book's first chapter. I love the movie, and I relate to Scarlett O'Hara more and more as I grow up. She was ahead of her time; marrying men out of need rather than out of love, and she was a shrewd business woman with a head for math. I knew if she were alive, real, and around my age, we'd be good friends.

I had read Margaret Mitchell's monstrous novel as a child, falling in love with the idea of being so beautiful that men fell over themselves. And a seventeen inch waist! It was only later that I discovered the movie, and fell in love with Clark Gable. At the age of nineteen, I read and reread the novel, and watched and rewatched the movie. The idea of corsets and hoop skirts and being a southern belle charmed me. I had offhandedly mentioned to my grandma that I was jealous of the era, and she laughed at the idea of it. "You, a simpering southern belle? Honey, you have way too much spirit." She patted my knee, smiling. "And I'm glad you have so much spirit." I laughed, too, but I still wondered about being a southern belle. Even though I still consider myself a feminist and fight for equal rights for women, some small part of me still looks back on the era of when women didn't have to do a damn thing besides raise children and take care of the plantations thinks, "Sign. Me. Up."

I bought a corset, a hoop skirt that I haven't worn, and a parasol. Coming from a primarily Scottish bloodline, "tan" is not not something that comes easily to me. After reading GWTW, I accepted that pale could be beautiful. I took lemon juice to my freckles, started wearing long pants and skirts in the summer, unironically used my parasol and wide brimmed hat, and I laced myself into my corset whenever I could. Although I dreamed of being as tiny as Scarlett, I knew that would never happen. My waist stayed firmly at thirty-five inches, no matter how tight my corset was. Seventeen inches! I wish.

Back in the present, the scene at the bazaar was playing on my screen, and I thought of how grand it would be to dance the night away. The closest I came was going to a club and hoping someone would hit on me. I sighed, closing my eyes. The thought of Rhett Butler kiss me, calling me his, made my heart skip a beat. I snuggled into my bed, listening to the movie's music, wishing Rhett would come to me in my dreams.

When I woke, something was off. My bed was not this hard, and my blanket was not this scratchy. I sat straight up, examining my surroundings. I was in a large bed with wooden posters-elegantly carved and dark. The sunlight was pouring in the window, and instantly, I had a good idea of where I was.

I stood and found a robe to wrap around me. The robe was made out of fine silk, and was pure white. The bedroom was large and decorated sparsely. I found a vanity and inspected my reflection. My eyes that had been blue since the day I was born, were green. My hair, which had been blonde and colored a dark red, was black as a raven. It was long and almost curly, unlike my straight hair my ancestors had. The realization hit me like lightning.

I was Katie Scarlett O'Hara, southern belle.

I was shaken, and my mind raced. 'How on earth did this happen? How will I get back to my time? How am I going to not get caught?' I couldn't help but smile, though. I loved the idea of being a belle, and now I had my chance.

A large, black woman came through the door. She wore a plain, grey dress with a white apron, and a white scarf on her head. "Good morning, Miss Scarlett. What has you in such a good mood?" I knew this woman was Scarlett's Mammy-well, my Mammy now. She had a tray full of food.

"I'm just excited for the barbecue, Mammy," I sighed. Yes, being flocked to by men, dancing the night away, and being absorbed into this culture excited me. After all those years of longing, I finally had Scarlett's beauty, and I was excited.

"What's my lamb going to wear?"

I looked around, feeling a flood of memories that weren't my own. These memories belonged to the green eyed girl, not to me. As if I were a marionette, controlled by Scarlett's memories, I walked to the closet and peeked in. My mind reeled at the sheer amount of dresses that I -we- owned. White ones, blue ones, green ones. They ranged from elegant ball gowns to simple frocks. There were ones with plain designs, and ones with stripes, and dots. I reached out to touch one-fine silk, like the robe. There were also velvet and chiffon. "I don't know, Mammy." I said, quite honestly. There was simply too much to choose from! "You know what looks good on me. You pick a dress out," I smiled at her, knowing that without her help I might wind up making a fool of myself and maybe risk exposing my secret.

Mammy grumbled, but I knew she would appreciate that I would be dressed respectfully. She picked out a dress she deemed "fittin'", and set it on a chair.

"Come on, Miss Scarlett, let's lace you."

This part I dreaded. I knew that steel boned corsets hurt, and I couldn't imagine what whale boning or ivory boning felt like.

"Mammy, I'm not feeling very well." I lied, hoping to conceal my nervousness. "Can you lace me to eighteen or nineteen inches?"

Mammy looked at me like I was crazy. "Miss Scarlett, you must not be feeling well. Usually you're begging to be laced tighter. Are you sure you want to go at all?"

I nodded. I wanted to "meet" these people I had memories of: Brent and Stuart, the many beaux, and Ashley. I wanted to know why Scarlett was so in love with him. I knew what it was like to have crushes, but as a twenty-one year old woman, I knew love was hard to come by. Besides, in this era, woman discovered love after they were married. I was also anxious to meet Rhett Butler. I'd read about him, and I'd seen Clark Gable's portrayal. He is the kind of man I could see myself with, I thought with a smile.

Mammy laced me to nineteen inches, and Lord have mercy, it hurt. My ribs felt like they were going to puncture my lungs and I swear my soul was going to leave my body. I now knew why women carried smelling salts with them -I felt faint just standing there! She pulled the dress over my head, giving me little time to worry about the pain of my chest. It was charcoal grey with a green bows. The trim was the same green. It was a lace design. It buttoned at the neck, and it felt like it was choking me, but I knew it had to stay. The sleeves were long, but the fabric was comfortable, almost like polyester, but that wasn't invented yet.

"There," Mammy smiled. "My lamb's the prettiest belle in the county!" She handed me a tan, wide-brimmed sun hat with a green silk band that tied under my chin. I smiled as I held it, thinking of my own hat I had back home. It had been white with a polka dot strap and I had loved it dearly, despite the fact that I had been thoroughly teased by the men back home for wearing it. Stupid twenty first century men. I blushed deeply at her compliment. I found I could blush on cue, which I would need to do if I were to be a proper lady.

"Won't you be a doll and eat, Miss Scarlett?"

As if in response, my stomach rumbled. "Of course, Mammy."

Mammy eyed me suspiciously. Usually Scarlett resisted Mammy forcefully, so Mammy would feel like she'd won when Scarlett gave in.

I knew Scarlett was a spoiled brat, and I had been jealous of her when I was younger. If I had acted the way she did, I would have been beaten. My mother had taken belts to my backside when I was younger, and I hated the feeling of it. However, I had respect for my parents and my superiors.

As I ate what I assumed were supposed to be pancakes, I idly thought of everything I had to do and say to be considered a "proper lady". My eyes rolled, and I caught myself. No more of that! Scarlett's memories blurred into my mind. Memories of who I assume is her mother, and memories of Mammy, chiding a young Scarlett who ate "like a field hand". With that in mind, I slowed down in between bites. I really enjoyed this food- it was delicious, and unlike the food I was used to, not full of preservatives.

"Katie Scarlett O'Hara!" I heard a booming, Irish voice that I knew was Gerald O'Hara. Surely, he was outside in the carriage, waiting on me. "If you're not down here by the time I count to ten-"

"I'm coming, Pa!" I yelled out the window. In my rush to get to the window, I knocked over the tray, spilling food everywhere.

The carriage ride to Twelve Oaks was boring and dusty. The red dirt kicked up by the horses seemed to settle in my nostrils, making me cough violently. The sun didn't seem to notice my hat, as I could feel the heat on my face. I opened a small, green parasol that Mammy had handed to me on the way out. The sun was awful on my pale skin, and I couldn't wait to be inside.

Careen and Suellen talked among themselves, but I wasn't interested in listening. Although the scenery was gorgeous, I suddenly found that I would be fighting homesickness today. The thought wasn't pleasing. I thought of home- my mom, my friends, my job, and I knew I had to act like I didn't have a care in the world. I had never been away from my mom for more than a few weeks at a time, and my homesickness could make me bedridden. Lost in my thoughts of my home, I wasn't aware of my surroundings. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard horses trotting beside us. It was Mrs. Tarleton. She and Pa would probably want to talk about cotton and horses, no doubt. I found it hard to keep my eyes open. Time traveling will do that to you, apparently.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear her talking about Ashley marrying Melanie. "It's bad enough that he's marrying his cousin- but what makes it worse, Charles marrying Honey!" She couldn't contain her indignation.

I had to contain a laugh. I loved Mrs. Tarleton, and had always been saddened by her absence in the movie. Suellen nudged me, urging me to pay attention to the conversation. For a moment, I was confused but then I realized - Of course she would want me to listen- I was supposed to be in love with Ashley! I rolled my eyes at her. How would I explain my sudden change of heart to anyone? Maybe I could just wait a few months, and everyone would forget.

Mrs. Tarleton sped away on her horse. I was jealous of her form -if Scarlett had ever ridden a horse like that,straddling the horse, and not riding sidesaddle, Mammy would have had her hide- and of the fact that she wasn't wearing a dress. Nobody dare call her out on it; every man knew that she could out drink them, out ride them, and out play them at poker. But despite all this, she was still a respected lady- raising children and running a plantation better than any housewife many had ever seen.

When we arrived at the Wilkes', I couldn't help but notice the disdain Honey and India had on their face. My cool exterior faltered for a half second. Could Scarlett have been so mean to them? I would try to make amends, for Scarlett's- my sake. I was nicer than Scarlett, and I had Scarlett's memories of 'growing up proper'. Surely I could charm two simple girls.

John Wilkes helped me out of the carriage,and I took his hand, trying to dismount gracefully. When I found my feet, I curtseyed at him. I smiled at India and Honey, taking their hands respectively. "How lovely it is to see you, darlings." The looks that crossed their faces was priceless. They looked at each other in shock and an unspoken communication passed between them, though they may as well have shouted it. Surely Scarlett O'Hara isn't being nice!

I stepped into the huge house, and was hit by a wave of nostalgia that didn't belong to me. Scarlett had spent so many days here as a child. She had ran up and down these stairs with Ashley. She had napped next to India and Honey in the afternoons. She had ate at their table several nights. I smiled warmly at the memories, taking comfort in their familiarity even though they didn't belong to me. I began to climb the stairs when a tall blond came my way. Ashley!

"Scarlett!" He called.

I cringed a bit internally. Good grief, I was hoping to avoid him, but here we were and there was no avoiding it now.

"Ashley," I replied, none too warmly. No need to give anyone more ideas than they already have. I could feel India's eyes boring into the back of my head.

Ashley took my hand and smiled at me. "You look lovely, Scarlett," Ashley announced, as he held me back for further inspection. He smiled drowsily. "Of course, you always do." He kissed my knuckles. It took me everything I had not to take my hand and wipe it off on the skirt of my dress. I knew Scarlett would have been over the moon, but I wasn't Scarlett, and I didn't like the idea of him kissing me. I knew that kissing womens hands was, like, a thing, but _ew_. And they don't have hand sanitizer, either! _Yuck, all those germs._ "Scarlett, how are you today?"

"I'm well, Ashley. It's a gorgeous day for a barbeque!" _And a beautiful day to announce an engagement_ , I thought.

"That it is, my dear. Come, I have someone I want you to meet." He led me to a woman who was shorter than me, and impossibly small. I was afraid a gust of wind would come in and knock her over. "Scarlett, this is Melanie."

Melanie's face lit up when Ashley said her name. I could tell that she was in love with him, and wondered why Scarlett would ever want to ruin that.

"Melanie," I said, taking her hand, my earlier fear striking me again. "How wonderful it is to meet you! And your dress looks lovely." She was rather plain. Her hair was dirty-water brown, and her eyes matched. While her dress was pretty, it looked plain as well. I suspected she wasn't as rich as the O'Haras. Her dress was a pale pink, with no designs, and no lace trim except for the sleeves. She looked like a small child playing dress up in her mother's hoop skirts. _I wonder how she is_.

Melanie smiled and blushed under my compliment. I suspected hers wasn't on cue, like mine had been.

"It's so nice to meet you too, Scarlett. I do hope we can become friends," she replied shyly.

"Me, too, Melanie."

My attention moved to Charles, Melanie's brother. He was more handsome than I had thought he'd be, but he was too young for my taste. You could tell he was barely nineteen. He still had round cheeks and his eyes had the glow of a boy who had never experienced heartbreak. No, I like men. Tall, dark, handsome men. _Like Rhett Butler,_ a small part of me offered.

"Scarlett, this is my brother, Charles," Melanie offered warmly.

"Well, Charles Hamilton, how are you?" I smiled at him, using my dimples and looked up at him through my lashes.

Charles blushed and stuttered out something that I didn't understand. I looked to Melanie for help, and she couldn't help but laugh.

Steaming, Honey came over and snatched Charles away from me.

"Sorry, darling," he mumbled half-heartedly as he was dragged away. He looked over his shoulder at me, and I half-smiled at him.

"Scarlett, do you really have to tease him? It's unfair darling. You're so pretty." Melanie offered me a compliment, and I blushed again.

"How you do run on, Melanie," I mumbled. While I loved the compliment, I wasn't used to having this many of them.

"Please, call me Melly. All of my friends do."

"Of course, Melly," I smiled. If I remembered correctly, Melly has Ashley's child during the war, and it takes all the life out of her. I must stay close to her, even though I have no intention of marrying her brother.

"You must eat with us," Melly pleaded. Her hands gripped mine firmly.

I laughed quietly. "If I can get the Tarleton twins away, I will do just that."

Melanie and Ashley walked away, and I was pulled into the scene around me. The women were all dressed lavishly. The men had soft, warm voices, and the women's voices complemented thiers. Nobody ever spoke loudly, and everybody had slow drawls that could make me drowsy.

Twelve Oaks was a gorgeous plantation. The house was large and white, but unlike Tara, it opened to a large staircase, and the entry way could be used as a dance floor. Scarlett's memories flashed before me, and I knew that upstairs, there would be beds waiting for the women to nap on after lunch. _How silly would it be to nap_ , I wondered. Although, with the excitement, I knew why.

A girl around my age came up to me, and the name Cathleen surfaced to my lips.

"Scarlett, there you are!" She hissed. She took my arm in hers and lead me up the stairs. "Darling, everyone is green with envy over you!" I looked at her incredulously. She smiled knowingly. "You always do look much better than everyone, Scarlett! Even better than those city girls."

I didn't think I did, but maybe Cathleen was used to building Scarlett up. "Why, Cathleen, you look gorgeous too!" I offered. "Your hair is definitely prettier than mine!"

Cathleen let out a loud laugh, and immediately, all eyes were on us. "Scarlett, what has gotten into you? You aren't dressed like you usually are, you could hardly contain the look of disgust when Ashley took your hand, and now you're complimenting me."

I squeezed Cathleen to me, fully realizing what an awful person Scarlett could be. "I'm fine, I promise."

We were at the landing of the stairs when I felt eyes on me. These were not India's hot stares. No, this stare made my hair stand up on end. I looked around, trying to find the person who made me so uncomfortable. My eyes settled on a man who was tall, had tan skin, black hair, and black eyes. He looked at me intensely, with a smile on his face. He made me uncomfortable, and I shifted under his gaze. He laughed at this, and then turned and made conversation with Mr. Wilkes.

"Cathleen, is that-"

"Why dear, that's Rhett Butler!"

Between the tight stays, the lack of food, and the realization that my dream may come true, I felt more faint than I had when getting dress, and I could feel my legs buckle under me.


	2. Chapter 2

_A.N._ I've already veered out of canon GWTW, but now I am going to outright ignore MM'S intentions ;) I always wondered what life for Scarlett and Rhett would be like if Rhett were "received". So, here goes. Hope you like it, and thank you for the reviews! Thank you for being so patient for an update. I am in the middle of wedding planning, and it's crazy.

-Red

I could hear voices calling a name in the distance. "Scarlett. Scarlett, honey, wake up." I knew that I was supposed to be Scarlett, and that I was supposed to respond, but I couldn't get my eyes to open. My head throbbed, and I suspected that I had hit it on my way down. _Dear God, I fainted!_ Internally, I cringed. I couldn't physically cringe, though. The darkness around my consciousness wouldn't let me. I tried to push past this darkness, but to no avail. It was too thick and too heavy.

"Scarlett, honey, wake up," a soft voice called to me. It was a man's voice, but I couldn't pin it. Scarlett's memories pricked at me until the realization came that it was Rhett. _Why on Earth would Rhett be worried about me? Surely he has better things to do..._ I couldn't grasp anymore thoughts, as the darkness took me under again.

I saw visions of Scarlett's childhood in my sleep. I wouldn't call them dreams, for they were far too vivid. I could smell the red dirt she has played in; I could taste the fried chicken she loved so dearly; I could hear Brent and Stuart's laugh as if they were next to me. In one of the memories, Scarlett and Ashley were riding on horses.

"Darling," Ashley said drowsily, "I shall miss these days."

Scarlett laughed and asked what he meant.

"These days won't last forever," Ashley mused.

"Fiddle-dee-dee, Ashley. Why, of course they will!" Scarlett had claimed triumphantly, riding off into the sunset, leaving Ashley behind.

This memory seemed newer than the rest. This memory was more vivid than the others; I felt I could reach out and feel the horse's mane under my fingers. This memory pulled on my heart, and I could now see why Scarlett loved Ashley. They had grown up together, and he always talked of books and music, getting lost in his passion. Scarlett, while not knowing anything he was saying, was still enthralled by Ashley.

"Scarlett," Ashley called. But it wasn't Ashley. It was too feminine. "Scarlett, you're giving me quite a scare." The voice was urgent but still gentle.

My eyes snapped open and I saw Ellen O'Hara.

Relief flooded her face, and she hugged me tightly.

"Hello, mother." I smiled at her, and was possessed to reach for her hand. She took it and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Scarlett, let's go home. Mammy told me that you were feeling unwell this morning, but you insisted on coming."

"I thought I would feel better, honestly, Mother," I half stated, half apologized. Scarlett's memories let me know the reverence she had for her mother, and I felt it too.

Ellen O'Hara, while no longer young, was face showed her French bloodline, and her skin was paler than mine. I was jealous. She was tall and graceful, even in her hoop skirt and corset, no doubt laced tighter than I would ever be able to stand. Flashes of Ellen blurred into my mind. She was always dressed impeccably, at all hours of the day or night. Her black hair was always pulled back, and the heaviness of it made her head tilt slightly backwards.

I nodded at Ellen when I found her staring questioningly at me. I must have been gawking at her while lost in Scarlett's memories. It was odd-having somebody else's memories in your mind. One part of you finds comfort in it, and the other part of you is alarmed by all the information you know but you are also learning. It made my head reel, and that did not help my faintness. I pushed the memories to the side and sat up. I could feel the cobwebs of unconsciousness in my head, so I shook it.

"Darling, if you're still unwell, surely Mr. Wilkes will let you stay the night," Ellen said to me.

"I'm feeling alright, mother, I promise," I said, without thinking if I was really better or not.

Ellen eyed me carefully, and I knew she didn't believe me, but I also knew she wouldn't argue with me. I smiled reassuringly, and she helped me out of bed.

As we walked out of the room and down the stairs, several gentlemen gathered themselves around me.

"Miss Scarlett, are you well?"

"Miss Scarlett, let me help you down."

Somebody took my elbow, but I didn't look at them.

"Miss Scarlett, you're so fragile. Let us help."

I wanted to shriek at them, tell them I was fine, and that a certain Rhett Butler was the final straw that made me faint, but I didn't. I smiled and blushed and fluttered my eyelashes appropriately. I was mortified, and the thought of making eye contact with any of these men made me even more mortified.

The more men flocked around me, the more I blushed. My face matched the name I was called.

"Scarlett, darling, are you okay?" Finally, Melanie had found her way to me. Relieved that she wasn't beaux, I took her hand.

"Yes Melly, I'm feeling much better. I didn't eat breakfast this morning because I was feeling unwell. I probably should have stayed home," I admitted.

Melanie laughed and looked up at the gentleman holding my elbow. I turned and looked at him, too. The color from my face drained as I made eye contact with Rhett Butler. He laughed, a big, booming laugh that filled up the room, causing everybody to look at me again.

"Hello, Mr. Butler," I offered kindly, even though 'kind' is not what I was feeling. I was feeling 'rage and indignation'. He looks at me in a way that makes me faint, then has the gall to pretend he cares about my well-being.

"Mr. Butler. Hello," Melanie said sweetly.

"Thank you, Mr. Butler, but I'm feeling better now," I lied smoothly as I took my arm out of his.

My heart was racing and I found my stays too tight once again. I'd always dreamed about having Rhett Butler taking my arm and leading me down the stairs, leading me to an elegant party. The reality of it, though, was electrifying. He was more handsome than Clark Gable, and his voice was smoother. His eyes looked straight through my soul, and I felt in that moment, there was only me and Rhett in the universe.

"Mr, Butler," I said, finding composure, "I believe Melanie will take care of me if I find myself unwell."

Rhett bowed, and left Melanie and myself alone.

"Darling, are you really better?" Melanie pulled me closer to her as she put a hand on my forehead."

"I am, Melly." I recounted my story of feeling unwell this morning.

"Silly goose, you should have eaten," Melly chastised me. I smiled meekly.

I noticed that there wasn't a buzz around Rhett like there had been in the book and movie, and as Melanie and I moved outside, I ventured my opinion of Rhett.

"Mr. Butler certainly is a gentleman," I offered as we sat under a large oak tree on a bench. The shade felt nice, as I had lost my hat and parasol.

Melanie nodded, agreeing. "He comes from one of the most regarded families in Charleston." I knew this, of course. "His brother is scandalous, though."

"Oh?" She had my attention. I leaned in closer.

"Yes, darling. Don't you know?"

"Oh, I'm so out of the loop at the farm, Melly! You must tell me." I was very interested in what this scandal was.

Melanie blushed furiously and became interested in a wrinkle that didn't exist on the skirt of her dress.

"Oh Melly, you must tell me. I won't tell a soul that I heard this gossip from you." I made an 'x' over my heart.

Melanie put her mouth close to my ear and whispered, "Well darling, I've heard his brother took out a lady for a buggy ride, unchaperoned, nonetheless. He claimed that the buggy was broken, and they didn't come back until after dark. And then..." Melanie had to take a breath to calm herself, "And then he wouldn't marry her!"

Melanie was so surprised and taken aback by her own words. I stifled a giggle, and pretended to be horrified. "Well, how awful, Melly!" I made myself blush and look down as Melanie composed herself.

"Scarlett, honey, are you hungry?" Melanie asked, avoiding eye contact with me. I'm sure she was desperate to change the subject. She shifted uncomfortably.

"Not really, but I should probably put something in my stomach."

She looked up at me and I smiled.

Melanie stood and offered her elbow to me. I took it gratefully, still feeling woozy. My stays cut into my ribs, and I made a mental note to never have my stays this tight again. I was led to the library, as the men were gathered in the family room, smoking cigars, drinking brandy, and shouting about war. A servant came in and handed me a plate full of food that smelled delicious. My stomach rumbled,and I eagerly began to eat.

"Melanie," Ashley called. "Melanie, come here, darling." Ashley's voice was clear and drowsy, and I found myself comforted by the voice.

"Excuse me, Scarlett." Melanie swished out of the room, and I began to examine the room.

The walls were full of novels, most of which weren't even in English. I was pained by jealous. I wish I was as well read as the Wilkes. I barely knew any Spanish, let alone Latin. I set my food on a desk, distracted by the wonderful titles I saw. The books were beautiful, and I'm sure they were all original or second editions. _Dante's Inferno_ , _Wuthering Heights_ , and _Pride and Prejudice_ were the only novels I recognized. There were books in Spanish, German, Latin, and even Greek. My fingers traced the spines of every book. I found one book that was a deep scarlett with gold lettering- _The Scarlett Letter._ I opened the book, and I was surprised that the Wilkes would have such a scandalous book. This book is about adultery- still a major crime and social wrongdoing as it was in early colonial times.

I was so lost in the books, I didn't hear the person behind me.

"Scarlett, reading _The Scarlett Letter_ ," Ashley laughed.

I jumped, and snapped the book shut. I turned to face Ashley. His eyes were apologetic.

"I'm sorry, darling. I didn't realize how enchanted you were by the book."

I smiled, and put the book back in its place. "It's okay, Ashley. It's one of the few titles I know." I motioned at the books lining the shelves. "There are so many books, not many of which are in English. I do so admire your father's collection."

"I didn't know you were into novels, darling."

Ashley was leaning against a chair, and I really took in his features. There was a part of me that already knew what he looked like, but I wanted to look for myself. He was long and lanky, and his face was plain. None of his features stood out, and his eyes were grey. While I could muse why Melanie was attracted to him, I couldn't figure out why Scarlett had ever been. Maybe she was just in love with the idea of Ashley.

I walked toward Ashley, but my eyes were on the novels again. "It's a recent character development of mine. I discovered _Pride and Prejudice_ right after the Tarleton twins left for school. It kept my mind busy when I couldn't go riding," I lied cooly. I was closer to him now, and decided to ask him about the dream I had.

"Ashley, while I was unconscious, I had a dream about a few days ago," I half stated, half asked. Ashley took my hands, and I felt uncomfortable again. He nodded at me. "The day we went riding... Well, you said that our lives were going to change. What did you mean?"

Ashley sighed heavily. "Well Scarlett, anybody with sense knows the war is coming soon." Ashley looked down, and I had a feeling he was lying to me.

I narrowed my eyes and decided to go further. "What else Ashley? I can always tell when you're keeping something from me." I squeezed his hands, hoping that would encourage him.

Ashley sighed again, and fear struck my heart. What was he not telling me?

"Darling, I do so you'll be happy about this."

Why wouldn't I be, Ashley?" I was confused. Was Scarlett really that cruel with her temper that men tip toed around her?

Ashley made eye contact with me and stood. "Well, Scarlett, I've asked Melanie to marry me. I was going to tell you a few days ago, but you sped off and left me in the dust."

I laughed loudly, relieved that Ashley wasn't telling me he was in love with me or something. I hugged Ashley. "Of course I'm happy, you goose!" I laughed again, and pulled my hands from him. Ashley laughed, too.

"I'm glad to find you so thrilled, darling."

Melanie entered the room, smiling. "What's so funny, Scarlett?" She joined Ashley, and took his elbow.

"Why, Melly, Ashley was afraid that I would be upset by your engagement. What a goose!" I chastened Ashley, but I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice.

Melanie laughed. "Why Ashley, you are a goose. And Scarlett, you're such a kind friend." Melanie looked at me, then her eyes darted to the barely touched barbecue on the desk. "Why, Scarlett O'Hara, your food is still there!"

I blushed deeply, feeling as if I'd been caught getting into the cookie jar. "I'm sorry, Melly. I got distracted by the books." I hurried over to the food, and put another forkful into my mouth the placate Melanie.

"Now, darling, don't eat so quickly that you make yourself sick." It was Ashley's turn to chasten me. I nodded and chewed slowly.

"Ashley, I did come for a reason. India wishes to speak to you." Melanie looked up at Ashley, and I could almost feel how much she loved him. Melanie looked at me, smiling warmly. "If you'll excuse us, darling."

I sat in front of the desk and picked up a fork. I chewed my food slowly, taking in the smoky flavor of the brisket. It was delicious, and I was suddenly starving. My eyes began to wander again, and I noticed the furniture in the room. Besides the large desk, there were complementary chairs, a large couch, and gas lanterns on the wall. All of the wood features were a dark oak, and ornately carved on the legs. There was a fireplace in front of the couch, dusty from being unused. I was too busy looking at the furniture and a bite of food intended for my mouth landed on my skirt. "Shit," I hissed under my breath. I picked up the pieces, but there would be a dark stain there. "Shit," I hissed again. I stood, dotting a napkin at the stain. I stood too fast, knocking over the chair. "Jesus Christ." I can't get my act together. I went to go pick up the chair, and bumped into the desk. I pride myself on being a calm person, but because of the events that had conspired today, something in me snapped."Jesus Christ!" I slammed the chair into the desk, picked up a vase, and chucked it at the fireplace as hard as I could. It shattered magnificently, and I felt relief as the I saw the pieces scatter.

"This," a deep voice from behind the sofa said," is too much."

My mouth went dry, my pulse raced, and I had to lean on the desk, for my knees were weak. It was bad enough that I was cussing, but to throw a vase and be caught! So much for making Scarlett better.

Rhett Butler sat up, smiling bemusedly at me.

"Sir, you should have made your presence known!"

"Why? I was trying to have a nice nap. You were the one cursing and throwing things." He stifled his laughter, but I could see his eyes dance.

I laughed. "Great balls of fire, Mr. Butler! Don't make me throw my next weapon at you," I threatened.

He feigned shock, placing a hand over his heart. He stood, and walked over to me. I picked up my fork, taking the stance of a fencer. " _En garde,_ " I challenged.

Rhett put his hands in the air, surrendering. "Enough, Miss. O'Hara. I mean you no harm." He laughed, and his laugh filled up the room and my heart.

I dropped my fork on the desk, suddenly filled with terror. "Don't laugh so loudly, Mr. Butler. Do you want someone to come in and see us alone?"

Rhett came closer to me, and he took me by the wrists. "So what if they do, Scarlett?"

"Why, Mr. Butler, you are no gentleman." I tried to look down, tried to fight him, but I didn't have the will. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to be kissed by this man more than I had ever wanted to be kissed before in my life.

"And you, Scarlett, are no lady." He smiled at me knowingly. I couldn't possibly win this discussion, but I was going to try.

I found myself no longer under his spell. I ripped myself away from him. "How can you say such things? You know I'm unwell today!" I suddenly had a plan. I knew I could make myself cry. "I wasn't feeling well, and the faint took my energy, and, well..." Tears were pricking my eyes, although no longer fake.

Rhett took my wrists again, but this time he was gentler. "Scarlett, don't cry. There's no need to be offended. I never said I liked ladies." His voice was soft and caring.

I sniffled ungraciously. "What do you mean by all that, Mr. Butler?"

"I simply mean, Scarlett, that ladies hold no charm for me. And please, stop calling me Mr. Butler. That is my father's name. Please, call me Rhett."

I found myself crying harder. Once the tears started, they were hard to stop. The homesickness was making my heart ache and my stomach churn. Rhett pulled me close and stroked my hair. I knew that I should pull away, but his arms were strong and comforting. He held me like this until the tears had stopped. We had been in this embrace for at least ten minutes, and once I had composed myself, I felt ashamed for breaking down in front of Rhett.

I took my head off of Rhett's chest, and looked at him steadily. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Rhett. To say that today was a trying day is an understatement."

Rhett held me at arm's length, but he held on tightly. "Darling, it's okay. I'm sure the stress of the upcoming war has you at your wit's end."

I nodded, knowing that was the lie I should go with. I liked this Rhett. He was gentler, but I guess that's a direct correlation to how Scarlett treats him. He took one of my hands and kissed my knuckles.

"As I was saying earlier, Scarlett. Ladies hold no charm for me."

I smiled at him, not even trying to act mad. "You're a cad for saying such things, Rhett. You should be ashamed of yourself." I halfheartedly slapped his chest.

He laughed again, but he kept this laugh quiet, as to respect my wishes.

I was taken out of my world with Rhett when I heard whooping and hollering outside.

"Lincoln's called for soldiers!"

"The war is starting!"

All of the house was stirring, the ladies awoken by the commotion. Rhett's face hardened.

"What is it, Rhett?" I placed my hand on his face, concerned by this change in demeanor.

He looked at me, eyes piercing my soul again. "A war means fighting, Scarlett. I'm not a fan of lost causes, and Scarlett, this is a lost cause, damn it!" His grip tightened on my arm, and it began to hurt.

"Rhett, you're hurting me," I whimpered.

Rhett's eyes lightened, and he let go of my shoulder, but he held my hand to his face. "I'm sorry, Scarlett. I get so caught up in my thoughts, I forget what I'm doing." He kissed the palm of my hand.

"It's okay, Rhett," I breathed. I noticed how close I was to Rhett. He had pulled me closer, and his face was only inches from mine. My pulse was racing once again, and I desperately ached for him to kiss me. He had one hand on my back, holding me into place. He looked up and down my face, and his eyes finally met mine.

"Nothing frustrates me more than a lost cause, Scarlett." This time his voice was a whisper, and I could tell that he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted him to kiss me.

"Okay," I whispered.

I could hear voices growing louder, and once again, I was afraid of being caught. Scarlett would be done for if we were found alone together.

"I should go," Rhett said under his breath.

I nodded.

Rhett placed his lips on my forehead, and I wanted to cry out, _Kiss me, you fool!_ But I couldn't find my voice.

Rhett bowed and left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the urge to run after him.

Later that evening, I found myself at a large, wooden table, with seats for eight, three of which were unoccupied. Abe Lincoln had called for soldiers, and the south responded by building its own army. Distraught by the news, Careen threw herself into a frenzy, knowing that Stuart Tarleton would fight, and that Brent would follow. Ellen went to Careen's side, and Gerald, excited by the news, stayed at Twelve Oaks to talk War.

I looked at the spread on the table While it smelled delicious, my earlier fainting spell and encounter with Rhett caused a lack of appetite. I pushed the food around my plate for twenty minutes before Mammy suggested I lay down early.

I stood, smiled at Suellen, and went to Scarlett's room. Mammy undid my stays, helped me undress, and took the lantern with her.

"I hope you feel better tomorrow, honey."

"Thank you, Mammy." I could barely get the words out before I was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry to cut that last chapter off suddenly. I couldn't think of what else to say. You know, writer's block. Anyhow, I hope you have forgiven me because I have another update! Thank you all for the patience and reviews!

-Red

A few days following the barbecue, I received a letter from Melanie, formally announcing her engagement to Ashley. The wedding was to be held May 3rd at Melanie's church, and she begged me to be a bridesmaid. I smiled at her words. Melly would be a great friend. I wrote her back immediately agreeing. I was happy to be a bridesmaid, and hopefully the rumors of Scarlett's love for Ashley would calm down once I helped Melly marry him.

Lots of other women I saw at the barbecue were also announcing engagements. Honey and Charles, Stuart Tarleton and India -the only other two couples I paid attention to at Twelve Oaks- were to be married two and three days after Melanie and Ashley, respectively. I'm glad I avoided him at the barbecue- I know his fate, and I'm not interested in being a widow.

I licked the envelope and laid it on a pile of unsent mail by the door. My mind idly wondered what Rhett was doing right now. My pulse often raced and my face often red when Rhett was on my mind. I was a 21 year old woman with a girl's crush, and that made me blush even more. I was frustrated with myself- I'll have a war to get through and I did not need to be in love. I'd been thinking about how I'd convince Ellen to let me go to Atlanta so I could be with Melly. She'll need me when the war starts, and I'd love to be around Pitty.

I had picked up some yarn and a crochet hook, and was working on a blanket. With no internet and TV, my crocheting skills had increased greatly. I made it small, intending it for Beau. Not that Beau had even been conceived yet. Surely one of the county girls were pregnant and I could use them as an excuse for a baby blanket. The only thing I dislike about crocheting is that my mind wanders. My hands were busy, but my heart was on Rhett. I could smell him and I could feel his hand on the small of my back. I could feel him pressed against me, and I remembered what his lips felt like on my forehead. There was a part of me that was angered with Rhett because he hadn't kissed me. I sighed deeply. Rhett didn't kiss me, for whatever reason, and I knew I'd get my kiss when he was ready. I began to focus on my crocheting, pushing Rhett out of my mind, for the moment, at least.

Time passed quickly, and the war was in full swing. I had begged to stay with Melanie, knowing that if I didn't, she may die. I wish I could take her to my time and have her deliver her baby there. A C-Section is what she needed... not delivering a baby on a nasty mattress with no epidural.

Two months after the barbecue passed when I had found out Charles was dead. I had a sinking suspicion that Honey was pregnant, but I didn't say a word to her when I arrived at Pitty's. After receiving Melanie's letter with news of Charles, I knew I could win Ellen over. I claimed that I wanted to comfort the family, but I really wanted to be there at the bazaar... I knew Rhett would be there. Ellen eventually caved in when I cried. It was low... but Rhett would be worth it.

The day Ellen agreed, she wrote the letters and I carefully packed a trunk. I knew I'd be in Atlanta for a while, and I knew that I'd need at least one ballgown. I packed dark colored dresses, that way I could mourn with Melanie and Honey. I knew they would appreciate it. I was so relieved to go to Atlanta.

Tara, while beautiful, was quiet and and sleepy. I wanted to be in the city and have something to do besides crochet. I was getting callouses on my hands where the hooks rubbed. I tried reading to keep myself busy, but the novels I found in Gerald's study were about farming and land. I rode horses often, daring to ride regularly when I knew Mammy was too busy to pay attention to me. I found Scarlett was an excellent rider, and therefore I was excellent. I always caught flashbacks of Scarlett riding with the Tarleton twins, Ashley, and several other boys in the county. I wish I had someone to ride with now, for I grew tired of being alone quickly.

The night before I left, Mammy came into my room before I went to bed.

"Honey child, I can't help but notice that you ain't the same since the war started."

I sighed and went over to Mammy. I wrapped my arms around her, finding comfort in her hugs and bosom. "Oh, Mammy, there's nothing to do since the boys all went to join the war." While true, I kept out the part about Rhett.

"Honey, don't you lie to Mammy now." Mammy pulled back and examined my face.

I smiled. "Oh, Mammy. You got me."

Her face hardened, but I could see the love in her eyes. "I know you, Scarlett, child. You can always tell Mammy what's wrong."

I went to my bed and crawled under the covers. "I just feel like I don't belong anywhere, Mammy," I sighed into my pillows. The truth of the words tugged on my heart.

Mammy walked over to me slowly, as if she were approaching a wild animal. "You'll figure out where you belong in Atlanta, Miss Scarlett. I think a change of scenery will do you a world of good." She raked her fingers through my hair.

"I hope so, Mammy." I raised my head to look at her. Mammy's eyes were full of love and concern. I sat up, suddenly feeling wide awake. "It's just this war. All of my beaux have disappeared and there aren't any more barbecues to attend," I half-heartedly lied. I couldn't help but imagine Rhett and me dancing the night away, whispering sweet nothings in my ears. Men from my time only knew how to be obnoxious and rude. It was a nice change of pace to have a sweet Charleston accent complimenting my unladylike ways.

Mammy's eyes hardened. "Don't you lie to me, Miss Scarlett."

I laughed, knowing my face gave it away. "Okay, Mammy, you caught me."

Mammy harrumphed and shifted so she was closer to me.

I took Mammy's other hand, debating if I should tell her how I feel. I know Rhett is accepted in this universe, but he is still quite a bit older than me, and there's that whole business about his brother. How would Mammy react? Ellen? Oh dear God, how would Gerald act?

"Can you keep a secret, Mammy?" I knew she couldn't, and I hoped she would tell Ellen for me, and Ellen would tell Gerald, so I wouldn't have to tell anyone. She didn't even answer before I spit out, "I met someone at the barbecue, Mammy. Rhett Butler."

Mammy looked at me evenly. "Mistah Rhett ain't that bad, honey." She patted my hand. "He ain't bad, but if you thinking of marrying him, you need to let Mistah Gerald know."

Phew, Mammy isn't upset. I smiled at her. "I don't think he had any intentions besides to flirt with me, Mammy." I threw in a pout for good measure.

Mammy let out a loud, roaring laugh. "Of course, honey child." She left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I was excited to go to Atlanta, to see Melanie and... _Rhett_ , a small part of me offered. I shook it off, and laid back down. _I'll write him tomorrow, and let him know that I'll be in Atlanta..._ I smiled at myself. I knew in the book Rhett loved Scarlett. But here, now- I'm different and Rhett is different. I couldn't help but hope that he thought of me as much as I've thought of him. The nineteen year old in me could swoon at the thought of being with Rhett. I'd been in love once before, though, and the ending was ugly. I wasn't about to start that again.

My mind raced, but finally I succumbed to sleep.

Atlanta was busy and noisy at all hours of the day. From the time the sun peaked over the horizon till midnight, there was always somebody riding down the street, or somebody whooping and hollering. It was nice to be away from the farm, though. The hustle and bustle was almost relaxing, if one could truly be relaxed during a war.

I was glad to have packed duller dresses, for everybody in Pitty's house was in black. I wasn't a member of the family, so I didn't have to wear mourning clothes, but I wore darker dresses out of respect. Melanie thanked me every chance she had, but I told her it was the least I could do. Honey was ill with morning sickness that made her bedridden most days, and I pitied her. She always looked at me like I'd killed Charles myself, and I cursed Scarlett for being so mean and hateful towards Honey and India. I was nothing but pleasant to honey, though. I started to read to her in the afternoons to help time pass. Honey would get so dizzy she couldn't keep upright, and she tugged at my heart strings. At first, Honey was almost resentful toward me, but one day she decided that I wasn't that bad, and that she actually liked me.

"Scarlett, you're different," Honey stated a few weeks after my arrival. She was laying in her bed, still clad in nightwear. Her morning sickness was worse than usual today, and she would become ill if she moved too quickly.

"I suppose I am, Honey," I mused idly as I poured cool water into a basin so I could help ease her fever.

Honey was quiet, and I could almost hear the gears turning in her head. I took a rag to her forehead, resting on the bed next to her.

"Thank you, Scarlett," she whispered. Her eyes were closed, and I knew how good the water felt.

"You're welcome, Honey." I wetted the rag once again, but I let it rest on Honey's forehead so I could read.

I pulled up a chair, and pulled out the latest book Honey and I were reading. Melanie knew that I read to Honey, and she had written Ashley who knew of my love for books, who in turn wrote to John Wilkes. John sent a letter to me, thanking me for taking care of Honey, which included a package- _A Tale of Two Cities_. I wrote John to thank him for the book, and that Honey wasn't all that bad.

I read three chapters before Honey fell asleep. While I enjoyed reading to Honey, it kept my mind off Rhett, and I needed that as much as she needed company. Not to mention, I was the only lady in the household who wasn't faint when Honey was ill.

I quietly left the room and wandered to the parlour. It was quiet in the house- Melanie was at the hospital, and Aunt Pitty was running errands with Pork. I decided to write Rhett.

 _Dear Rhett,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well- I worry about you. With that being said, do not worry about me. I have the company Melanie, Pitty, and Honey. Atlanta suits me for there is always something to do here, unlike the farm._

 _Honey is ill, and I am the only one who isn't squeamish, so I take care of her. It really isn't that bad, but by the time she is feeling better, it's too late for me to go out unchaperoned, and if Melly or Pork are tired or unwell, I have to stay home._

 _My crocheting is coming along well. I mentioned in my last letter that I was working on a blanket for Honey- that blanket is done, so I've decided to make one for Melanie. I found her shuddering in her sleep the other night, and since then I've insisted she come to me if she's cold. Poor thing, she misses Ashley so much._

 _Nothing else happening here in Atlanta, Rhett. Although, a few weeks ago Mrs. Merriweather mentioned that Dr. Meade wants to have a bazaar. I don't know if that will happen though._

 _Do try to be safe, Rhett._

 _Sincerely, Scarlett_

Well, that letter was awkward as fuck. It was just going to have to be awkward, because what I really wanted to say was, "I'm in love with you and you should come back and marry me." Oh, well. I almost wrote that I missed him, but I didn't think that would be a good idea. I'm pining over him, and well, he doesn't need that on his plate.

I corresponded with Rhett- this was much better than texting. It would be a waste of paper to write 'k'- so I always received page-long letters from Rhett. I loved hearing his stories about sea, and I loved hearing news from Paris. Every now and then, he would attempt to sketch out the newest fashions. He was an awful artist, but he tried for me, and that thought made my heart skip a beat.

Melanie and I would spend hours talking about letters he had. Ashley always talked about the old days before the war, and I wanted to smack him, honestly. Yes, it was nice, but those times were over. Ashley always talked about how much he loved Melanie, and Melanie always blushed when she read his letters aloud. She read the unabridged versions to only me, knowing that I didn't care how romantic Ashley was. Melanie was happy, and that's all that mattered to me.

After a few weeks, Melanie asked my why I kept correspondence with Rhett, if we weren't engaged or even courting. I told her I didn't know, but he was a good friend, and I liked knowing he was alive. She never asked again, but I knew she had a good suspicion.

The days passed quickly, and as Honey began to feel better, I began to spend time at the hospital. It was disgusting and revolting, and I realized just how easily the plague spread. I washed my hands when I could, I changed my clothes as soon as I got home, and I bathed often. The screams of soldiers haunted me at night, and despite smelling salts, I could smell blood and dying flesh long after I'd come home. I never once was ill, but I held Melanie's hair back often. Melanie never batted an eye at the nudity and that surprised me. I never blushed in the presence of the men, but I found myself mortified late at night. Unwed woman weren't supposed to work on soldiers, their virgin eyes too kind for it. I insisted, though. I claimed I had helped darkies with birthing animals and had helped Ellen before. I felt bad for putting Ellen in such a position, and I even wrote her, explaining what I had done. _I just feel so guilty, mother. They need more hands than they have, and I just can't sit at home._ Ellen wrote Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Merriwether, saying that she had, in fact, let me help her and the darkies. She explained that I was more mature than my sisters, and that medicine came naturally to me.

"Scarlett, you're so kind to me and Honey," Melanie said one night, after a particularly awful shift. "You're kinder to us than any sister could be."

I took her elbow in mine as we walked home. I tried to be kind to Melanie. Her soul was gentle and pure, and she was so kind to everybody she met. Melanie was the most-requested nurse at the hospital. "I love you and Honey like sisters, Melly. I never got along well with Careen or Sue. The truth is, I think so differently than they do. It's hard to find something to talk about when you think your sisters are ninnies."

Melanie laughed, but slapped my arm. "Scarlett, you shouldn't say such things."

I grinned. "I know, but it's true. Sue and Careen are silly, and don't know their hand from their nose. It's frustrating being a girl who doesn't think like a girl."

"Why, Scarlett, you're a fine lady-"

"I try hard to be a lady, Melly. It doesn't come easy to me." I stopped suddenly, and Melanie turned toward me. I felt foolish and idiotic, but I wanted to be a lady that Ellen would be proud of. "I just want to be a proper lady, for Mother and Mammy, and especially for you."

Melanie laughed again. "Darling, you are a lady. And a very proper one, at that." Melanie smiled and hugged me tightly.

While I felt better, I knew Melanie was an angel and that I could murder a man and she'd still love me.

It was late June or early July when word of a bazaar began spreading through Atlanta. Mrs. Merriweather called on Aunt Pitty later than social etiquette allowed one evening, announcing that women were needed for booths.i smiled and nodded appropriately, not really listening when I heard, "And Captain Rhett Butler will be there-" I didn't really pay that much attention after that, for my heart was pounding and my thoughts were reeling. I excused myself and went to my bedroom. I did a dramatic Disney-Princess move, and threw myself on the bed. I had been omitting the small fact that I missed him, and that I was slowing falling in love with him. We had been corresponding for three months now, definitely enough time to establish a courtship in this era. He had never mentioned it, and I wasn't about to make a fool of myself and bring it up.

Not two days after I heard about the bazaar, Melanie came racing up the stairs early one morning. I had just finished reading Honey to sleep. Her morning sickness came and went in waves. She would feel better for a few days, but be bedridden the next two weeks.

"Scarlett, you have a visitor!" She gasped. She slapped her hand over her mouth and blushed. She peered into Honey's room.

"No, you didn't wake her," I whispered. "But great balls of fire, Melly! What has gotten into you?" I took her by the shoulders, trying my hardest to appear stern.

"Scarlett, Captain Butler is here to see you."

My eyes widened and I dropped my hands. "Oh." I ran to my room, suddenly feeling like my stays were too tight. Melanie followed, alarmed.

"What is it, darling?" She was by my side in an instant.

I was standing in front of the vanity, brushing my stray hairs into place, pinching my cheeks to give them some color, and biting my lips to make them red.

"Melly, I look like a rat!" I cried indignantly. Melanie must have felt as strange as I did, because she slapped me. "What on Earth was that for?" I raised my hand to my cheek.

Instantly, Melanie looked apologetically at me. "Oh, Scarlett, darling. Forgive me!"

I nodded, still shocked.

"Scarlett, you need to pull yourself together. Rhett Butler is waiting for you. Darling, I know how you feel for him!"

I didn't even have time to defend myself before she pushed me out of the room and almost pushed me down the stairs.

"I'm going," I hissed.

I descended as gracefully as I could.I was ungraceful as is, but being pushed messed with my equilibrium. Rhett heard footsteps and stood to greet me at the bottom of the stairs. I held my hand out to him, and he kissed my knuckles.

"Miss O'Hara." His eyes sparkled slightly, cuing my blush. He didn't laugh, but he did smile knowingly.

Suddenly very aware of Rhett's presence and intoxicating smell, I went to step forward, but my heels got caught in the skirt of my dress, and I tumbled forward. Rhett caught me before I was on the floor, and helped me stand. My face was even more red, and mortified doesn't even begin to explain how I felt.

"Miss O'Hara, are you well?" He teased, fully aware of what just happened.

"I'm fine, Captain Butler. I do believe my slippers are the culprit." I smiled sweetly at him, and I earned an uproarious laugh in return.

"Captain Butler, it is so good to see you," Melanie offered. She glanced at me sideways. "Isn't it, Scarlett?"

Oh, if we weren't in front of Rhett!

Rhett and I had made it to the parlour, and I sat on the couch too eagerly. I was attempting to be graceful and charming, but the thought of Rhett kissing me made my thoughts jumble.

I tuned out what they were saying, Rhett's scent fully taking over my thoughts. There were other thoughts... Like Rhett's lips on mine... Like Rhett on top of me, taking me as his own... I stopped that thought before it could go any further-

"I'll go make some tea," Melanie said as she almost skipped out of the room.

"I've missed you, Scarlett," Rhett stated as soon as Melanie was out of earshot.

My eyes shot up, and I knew there was a deer-in-the-headlight look in my face.

"Don't look at me like that, Scarlett," Rhett said as he scooted closer to me.

I tired to remember what a lady was supposed to do in a situation like this, but Rhett's proximity made me forget how to speak. I looked down and blushed.

"Have you missed me, Rhett, or are you just making conversation?" I whispered, daring to hope that he had missed me.

Rhett snapped, "I don't say things like that lightly, Scarlett."

"I'm sorry if I've offended you, Rhett," I mumbled, not knowing what to say.

Rhett's mood shifted and he laughed uproariously again. "Don't be worried, Scarlett. My ego remains intact."

I looked at everything in Pitty's parlour except for Rhett. I couldn't bear to look at him. I wanted to so desperately to kiss him, hold him... _and be his wife_ , my heart screamed at me. I wanted to scream in exasperation at myself for that thought. I barely knew Rhett, and here I was, ready to give up my name.

Eager to shift the conversation, I idly asked about blockade running. He told me stories of his sea days, but I couldn't really pay attention with Rhett this close. I wanted to smile, but there was no way in hell I'd let Rhett in on my little secret.

"Scarlett, if you're going to ask me about my blockade running, you could at least have the decency to listen."

I looked up to find black eyes prodding my own. While his tone was stern, his eyes danced, as they did every time we talked. His eyes made me feel warm and comforted, and there was a piece of me that wanted to wake up to his eyes every day for the rest of my life. I had felt something like this once before, but the way Rhett made me feel was unbelieveable.

"I'm sorry, Rhett," I whispered.

Rhett picked up my hands and kissed the backs. "Don't be sorry, Scarlett. You asked, so I assumed you wanted to know." My pulse skyrocketed. Then he flipped them over. I could see he was suddenly angry.

"Why Scarlett, your hands are calloused! What have you been doing, picking cotton?" Rhett spit at me. We were having such a nice time, but my hands were gloveless, and my callouses shattered the mood. He threw my hands down. Something sparked my anger and I began to scream.

"Great balls of fire, Rhett! You would assume that!" I shoved my hands in his face. "You want to know why my hands look like I've been picking cotton?" I wanted to snarl and throw a vase at him. "It's because of you, you idiot!"

This took Rhett by surprise, and all anger from his face disappeared.

"I've been crocheting and doing needlepoint all times of the day so I wouldn't think about you!" I hissed at him, voice rising more and more. "And besides, what if I had? What's wrong with providing for my family?"

He picked up a hand and gently kissed the knuckles. "I'm sorry, darling," he crooned, making my heart skip a beat. We were past formalities, but pet names were new... and exciting. "Had I known how much you thought of me, I would have come to see you." He flipped my hand over and kissed a callous. He then looked up at me, all flushed and embarrassed and angry at him for making me feel this way.

"Oh, don't be such a cad," I hissed at him as I attempted to tug my hand away.

"You wrote me," he whispered, kissing my wrist. "Why have you never told me how you felt?" He kissed the inside of my forearm.

"Why do you say things like that?" I was frozen in place, the scene of the library playing in my head. I knew we were alone, but only long enough for Melanie to fetch tea.

"Like what?" He mumbled, preoccupied with kissing my upper arm. He was almost to my shoulder, and for once, I was glad for the long sleeves and the high neckline of my dress. It only showed my collarbone, but a small part of me hoped he would kiss there, too.

"Why would you say you miss me?" I whispered. I was terrified but anxious at what he would do next.

"It's true, Scarlett." He pulled himself away from me abruptly and moved to the opposite side of the couch. I wanted to scream at him to come back and kiss me, but I settled for a glare.

"Obviously you haven't missed me much since you're on the other side of the couch and not- not kissing me!" I threw a hand over my mouth, startled by those words that had escaped. "I'm sorry, Rhett- I don't know-"

In one swift move, Rhett was next to picked me up and pulled me close to him. I looked up at him, afraid that he'd snap me in two, or worse, kiss me on the forehead again. Yes, he knew I wasn't a lady, but that had been out of line. Rhett could tell the old peahens about me and I'd be done for. They would call me fast and foolish. His eyes were full of pain, however. He looked at me like was breaking his heart. I reached out and put my hand on his stubbly cheek. I traced a finger along his cheek.

"Maybe I should kiss you." He picked up my hand and kissed my palm. I was suddenly faint.

Before I could think, I closed my eyes and puckered my lips, expecting to meet Rhett's. Ten seconds passed and my lips were still alone.

Rhett put a hand on my chin. "Open your eyes."

I obeyed.

"No, I don't think I will kiss you. Although,you need kissing badly. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how."

I blushed furiously. "How dare you say such things to me! I ought to tell Pitty just what you said to me-" Feminine vanity and pride rose in my throat, and I was angry at myself for being in this situation to begin with. I was such a fool to think that Rhett had any feeling for me. Tears pricked my eyes.

"I could tell Pitty what you said to me." I pulled my hand back to slap him, but he held on to my wrist tightly. Rhett calmly looked at me, and as if he were in control of my emotions, I felt my anger releasing. "Calm down, Scarlett. I want to kiss you, I do."

I pulled back from him, pride still stinging. "Let me alone."

Rhett pulled me closer and hugged me. "I will kiss you when the time is right, Scarlett. I'm not going to kiss you, then leave you alone for months at a time; I won't leave you alone with your feelings for me, not knowing whether or not I'm alive."

"Oh." I was still hurt by him for making me feel so deeply for him, making me act like a fool in front of him, and not kissing me _once again._

Rhett hugged me tightly for a second, released me, and then sat on the couch again. He pulled out a cigar, lit a match on his shoe, and leaned back to enjoy a smoke.I stood there stupidly before sitting dejectedly, knowing not to push Rhett. While he was kind with me, I have had the joy of seeing him lose his cool before. I've never seen a grown man faint, but the man Rhett was talking to looked like he needed smelling salts. I wanted to go to him, kiss him like I meant it, and then declare my feelings for him, but I decided against it. I couldn't sit here in the afterthought of my rejection, so I stood, still fighting tears.

"I'll go see if Melly needs any help," I offered lamely as I left the room.

This earned yet another laugh from Rhett.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello, lovelies. Sorry for the long ass wait, but both my beta and I are freaking busy. 3860 words for you!

-Red

It had been a few weeks since the absolutely mortifying incident in the parlor, and I was glad Rhett was at sea again. Before he had left, he mentioned that he would be gone for longer this time, and he would be unable to write as often. I was disheartened, but I understood.

While he was away, time seemed to stop passing altogether- I often found myself bored out of my mind. I had crocheted at least a dozen blankets, trying to keep Rhett out of my mind. All of the newfound mothers loved their gifts, and I loved how happy they were. They always smiled brightly at the blankets, their grandfathers always kissed my hands and thanked me, and their mothers smiled warmly at me. I noticed that most women handled pregnancy well, but there were a few whose morning sickness had them in states worse than Honey. I offered to come read to them and keep them company while the matrons worked in the hospital. Many took me up on my offer- I enjoyed reading to them and caring for them, plus I wouldn't have to work in the hospital. But despite my best efforts, my mind always wandered back to the danger Rhett was in.

I had nightmares about the soldiers' screams, and Melanie had to wake me more than once from these nightmares. Melanie and I had started sleeping next to one another after these nightmares; she used my body for warmth and I used her for comfort after. Every night before we fell asleep, she would ask me about Rhett, wondering if I've received a letter from him, and if we had made any plans. My answers never changed, for I myself had no new information to provide. _I suppose Rhett is the same, Melly. No, no letters since the first one. He told me he wouldn't be able to write as often, so I expected this. No, Melly, we have not made any plans. Melly, if he had proposed, I would have told you._ It was the same conversation every night, but Melanie always asked and I always answered. I never grew tired of this conversation, either. Her voice never failed to calm me at the end of a long day. We often exchanged stories about our day, talking about wounds and women. We were always asleep before ten, much longer after the rest of the house had gone to sleep, but those nights were what held me together during the war.

One morning, Aunt Pitty came into my room, and discovered Melanie and I asleep. Not much later, she let it slip to Mrs. Merriwether one day that Melanie and I shared a bed. I turned to chasten Pitty, ashamed that she had let someone know. That was too scandalous for anybody besides Melanie and me to know, let alone Pitty or Mrs. Merriwether.

Still, it seemed that I needn't have worried. Mrs. Merriwether just smiled warmly and said, "In war times, things are different. I'm so glad you and Melanie have found each other to lean on."

I was shell-shocked by her kindness. I had discovered early on that people were kinder to me than they had ever been to Scarlett, but I suspected that was because I, myself, was kinder in turn. I had Scarlett's beauty and grace, but it was my heart that won people over.

It was early August before the bazaar was confirmed. The date was set for September 10th, and I was beyond ecstatic to learn that Rhett would be attending as well. It had been six weeks since I'd seen him last, and I'd only received one letter from him- a short one, at that.I had idly mentioned that I was excited about a public event, but when Melanie caught me humming brightly one day, she knew that I was more than excited.

It wasn't very long after the announcement of the bazaar that Honey was reaching her second trimester of pregnancy. Her morning sickness had finally subsided, and she started helping at the hospital along with Melanie. While I would miss my mornings with Honey, I was glad to spend time with other women. I got out more, and the peahens were taking notice. They would all comment on how devoted I was to other women, how selfless I was, and what a good friend I had become. I blushed under their compliments and would always say, "I do what I can to help." I was invited to so many sewing circles and that I found myself home only three nights of the week. I would be up around six, starting the day over again. I would read to bedridden women, help at the hospital for a few hours, then attend sewing circles and eventually attend meetings to help plan the bazaar. I would arrive home late, eat a few bites, and then collapse into bed with Melanie.

It was on one such night that my comfortable routine was interrupted. I was idly crocheting one evening, having made my excuses to my sewing circles about feeling unwell, when Melanie came storming in, her face tear-soaked, and expression anguished. "Scarlett, is Aunt Pitty home?" She wailed as she flung herself on the couch."Oh, Scarlett, I could die!"

I went to her side and pushed her hair back from her face. "Melly, darling, what's the matter? No, Pitty isn't home."

In between sniffles, Melanie told me that she had run into Belle Watling- Belle had cornered her and gave her some money for the hospital. She was so ashamed, to say the least, to be next to that woman. Uncle Peter had caught her, too, and she was afraid Uncle Peter would say something to Pitty, who would surely kick her out. A woman of Melanie's social standing should not associate with whores.

Melanie was beside herself, so I took her in my arms, stroking her hair and back. I wanted to laugh at her absurdity. I admired Belle, truthfully. She made good money and she wasn't afraid to show it off. I kept my face straight, though.

"Melly," I whispered, "how much money did Belle give you?"

Melanie sniffed and pulled back from me. "I don't know, honestly." She wiped her nose with her handkerchief. "I didn't count." She pulled out a wadded up handkerchief from her pocket and untied it. Several gold coins spilled. Melanie's mouth dropped open and so did mine.

"Melly- why, fifty dollars!"

Melanie nodded and tucked away the money. "Oh, Scarlett, I hope nobody ever knows that I was seen with that-that creature!" Melanie was still mortified. I took her hand and patted it, hoping that would calm her.

"Melly, everybody knows you have a heart of gold. Surely, nobody will think ill of you," I offered. This seemed to placate her.

"Well, darling," she said while standing, "I think I'm going to draw a bath and call it a night." Her face was still red and her eyes were still puffy from the tears, but I knew she'd recover.

The weeks continued to pass slowly-days seemed to have forty hours, and weeks seemed to have ten days. Melanie and I began to attend Mass on Sunday mornings to help pass the time, and it did help to soothe me somewhat. I was born and raised Brethren, but I found comfort in church and the Bible. I found comfort in the Hymns.

It felt wonderful to be at church again- and the peahens took notice of my presence. Mrs. Meade and Mrs. Merriwether always talked to me and Melanie after the service. They always asked if I could come over an extra night for another sewing circle, or if I could lend a hand baking goods or washing bandages for the hospital. I found it very difficult to refuse them. Soon, I only had one night a week to myself- and I usually went to bed early that night. Melanie stood next to me in everything I did, though. Our busy schedules kept my mind off Rhett and her mind off Ashley. The hospital didn't mind that Melanie was there less; she was still virginly in the eyes of the old doctors.

In the end, I found that I liked that I wasn't home as much. My mind was off of Rhett, I was helping the town, and Scarlett's reputation was a very good one. the days seemed to melt together, and before I was aware, the bazaar was happening.

I guess I didn't realize that the bazaar was still happening-I had shoved the thought of the awkward encounter between Rhett and I into a deep corner of my mind. The date didn't register to me until Mrs. Merriwether called one day to ask me about my pillowcases I had agreed to sell. With as busy as I had been, I'd forgotten. I made my apologies for my absent-mindedness but saying that I would begin work immediately and that it had quite slipped my mind. I was forgiven instantly. As soon as Mrs. Merriwether left, I set to work.

Getting Melanie to agree to help me attend to a booth was proving difficult. I tried asking politely first. "It's for me, Melanie. Please?" I had asked her sweetly. Nothing doing, so I decided to play the social-image card. "Why, Melanie Hamilton Wilkes, you know I cannot go unchaperoned!" I exclaimed to her in false indignation. This worked marginally better, but She offered Uncle Peter as a chaperone in her stead. "Melanie, what about for the Cause?" I pleaded, but it seemed that not even the Cause would sway her to come with me. Running out of options, I had to go for the low-blow. "What about for Ashley- and for Charles?" I asked, a touch slyly. After a short pause and a sigh, she finally agreed, and even convinced Aunt Pitty to go as well. I only felt guilty for half a second, because I knew they both would surely have agreed if they knew my true purpose for asking them. Honestly, I wanted someone to run to if Rhett became unruly.

The hall in which the bazaar was held was decorated beautifully: candles, chandeliers polished and full of ornate candles, several booths full of clothes, pillowcases, jewelry, and even small furniture. The women were three deep in beaux, and all dressed lavishly. Even girls who were plain were surrounded by beaux. I was taken in by the beautiful colors of dresses-reds, greens, blues, whites, and even purples. These dresses were a welcome sight, considering I was around Melanie, Pitty, and peahens all day who wore blacks, greys, and beiges.

Out of respect for the Hamilton household, I wore a demure-colored dress. It was dark blue, with mint green stripes. The neckline was lower than I should have dared wore, but it looked ravishing on me. It dipped down on my chest, the dark blue lace setting off my milk-white skin. I didn't show any cleavage, but you could tell that the girls were there. I had Uncle Peter lace me tighter than I had gone before- seventeen inches. I had grown used to stays but this was still uncomfortable. I knew Rhett would crap himself at the sight of me at seventeen inches, so the lack of oxygen would be worth it. The dress had long sleeves, and I wore mint green gloves Melanie had lent to me. I also found a dark blue fan that had an elegant lace design, just the perfect size for some flirty looks, but not so big that it might get in my way. I was going to blush accordingly, use my dimples, while not acting too lady-like, of course. Rhett liked me unlady-like.

Rhett knew that while I was mild-mannered, there were a few things that made me lose my cool- and out came my sailor's mouth. He always laughed when I cussed, spoke my mind, or did anything that would be considered unwomanly. When Rhett and I found ourselves alone in Pitty's parlor, I talked freely about anything and everything- I even once told him that I disliked my pantalets, and found them a foolish fashion staple. Rhett treated me as an equal, and because of that, I began to be more than just fond of him.

He once asked why I chose to act differently when he and I were alone.

"I don't give a damn about being a lady, Rhett, honestly. But Mrs. Meade, Mrs. Merriwether, Mrs. Pricard- they all do. And they're the ones with all of the social power. When I do decide to have children, I want them to be well-received. I don't want my children to remain at home when there is a birthday party or social event, just because I can't keep my mouth shut."

"With enough courage, one can do without a reputation," he had smirked at me.

"Oh, shut up, Rhett. One day, you'll have a daughter, and your views will change."

Rhett laughed at me.

I smiled fondly at the memory- I love my evenings with Rhett. He always made me laugh, smile and forget about the war. He also spoiled me with small gifts: fans, gloves, chocolates, necklaces, and occasionally yarn for my crocheting. He always brought candy for Pitty, shoe shine for Uncle Peter, and more paper for Melanie to write Ashley. Despite his rough exterior, I knew Rhett Butler was a kind man.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the lilt of the waltz. Once upon a time, Scarlett had been taught how to waltz. I was clumsy, though, and was afraid that I would make a fool of myself. Still, I had been in concert band, so it was hard for me to resist the urge to at least tap my foot. I had a reputation to watch though, and a duty to my friends, so I stayed in the booth with Melanie and Pitty. They were in mourning, so our booth was in the far corner, as to not attract attention. I fiddled with the display to distract myself from the music, arranging the pillow cases so the designs would show. Melanie had a few baby booties and hats she had knitted, and Aunt Pitty had a few pieces of jewelry she was selling.

I talked to soldiers and their families as they passed; some buying my pillowcases, some buying booties, and few buying jewelry. Many people were in mourning and weren't allowed to wear anything besides mourning brooches.

Dr. Meade drew attention to himself on the stage and began to present what was surely a wonderful speech. Unfortunately, the whole speech passed me by because Rhett Butler was standing next to him. He didn't do much, in all honesty, but I still found his presence arresting. Rhett bowed when appropriate, smiled lightly at Dr. Meade's praise, and waved at the gentlemen. Dr. Meade ran on and on about Rhett's brave blockade-running and so on. I absorbed myself in my work, telling myself that it didn't matter that he was here. I had almost convinced myself of it too, until the sound of Melanie laughing lightly at some conversation drew me out of my self-imposed meditation of the pillow cases.

Rhett Butler was walking my way, and I froze in my spot. My pulse raced, my breathing stopped for half a second, and my brain forgot how to speak English. Melanie swooped out of the booth, glad to see this particular blockade runner. He was kind and gentle to her and Aunt Pitty, and I mused he respected Melanie more than his own mother. Rhett bowed and kissed Melanie's hand.

"Why, Captain Butler! It's so nice to see you!" Melanie crooned.

"It's an honor, Mrs. Wilkes."

When Rhett stood from his bow, his eyes shot up and he looked at me. He smiled darkly, knowing his smile made my tongue go numb. I collected myself, though. I whipped out my fan and fluttered it in front of my face. I elegantly walked over to him, and he caught sight of me laced to my glorious seventeen inches. I saw his breath hitch in his throat and I knew I would have the upper hand tonight.

I held my hand out to Rhett, and he kissed my knuckles gently. "Miss O'Hara," he purred, practically caressing my name, "you look ravishing tonight."

"Thank you, Captain Butler." I dipped low in my curtsey, knowing that this would give Rhett a good look at my cleavage. I stood, fluttered my fan again, and smiled my dimples at Rhett. His breath hitched again and I knew I wasn't playing fairly, but I didn't care. Our last encounter was awful, and I wanted him to know that I wasn't a complete fool.

I was approached by a soldier and had to leave Rhett to make a sale. I was irritated by this interruption, but I wanted to help the hospital. This particular soldier wanted a necklace for his beloved. I could hear Rhett and Melanie talking, but I couldn't distinguish words. I said my goodbyes and rejoined the two. Melanie was pulled away by Dr. Meade, leaving Rhett and me alone.

"How is your blockade running?" I idly asked, not really caring. I held my true questions tightly behind my teeth. Have you met someone? Someone prettier than me? I wanted to ask. It felt like holding liquid iron in my throat.

"It's going as well as any illegal activity can go." Rhett smiled at me darkly.

"How you do run on, Rhett." I loved Scarlett's southern accent, and I loved the effect it had on men- especially on men like Rhett Butler. The boys always melted under the heat of it, but men like Rhett simply found themselves transfixed. "How can you say something like that, when you're doing it for the Cause?"

Rhett laughed loudly. "I can't entertain your girlish ideas, Scarlett. I'm doing this for profit, and profit only."

My eyes widened with fake horror, but I could tell Rhett saw right through me. I decided to play it up a little more and let out a gasp for good measure, which finally caused Rhett To more properly lower his bravado.

"Rhett, how can you say such things?" I asked him in false shock, while trying not to laugh. Rhett was teasing me with his eyes and smile. I placed my hand on his upper arm, earning an eyebrow raise.

He leaned closer to me. "I'm a cad, Scarlett."

Melanie returned just then, popping our little bubble.

"Captain Butler, I do wish to thank you for all you've done-"

"Say no more, Mrs. Wilkes." Rhett smiled warmly at her. "The girls have not done anything wrong- they deserve frocks that are pretty, and the men deserve to have pretty women."

Melanie blushed deeply, knowing what Rhett was insinuating. I nudged Rhett with an elbow.

"My apologies, Mrs. Wilkes." Melanie nodded, still embarrassed. "Still, women should feel pretty, even when there's a war happening."

A soldier walked by with a basket. "I hate to interrupt you, but the Cause needs more gold to melt and sell for medicine and supplies. Can you spare your jewelry?"

"We aren't wearing any jewelry; we're in mourning," I said, almost icily. Even people of the lower class knew that the Hamilton family was in mourning and should be left alone.

The soldier blushed and bowed, but Melanie called out: "Wait! Wait a second, please." Melanie tugged at her wedding band.

"Melly, no!" I cried. I reached out my hand to stop her, but the ring was no longer on her finger.

Melanie set it delicately on the pile of jewelry. "It may do my husband more off my finger."

"But Melly, your wedding ring?" I was shocked that Melanie would think of such a thing, especially knowing how much she loved Ashley.

Melanie looked at me, and I could see tears pricking her eyes. My heart stung for my best friend. I weaved my fingers through hers, knowing I couldn't comfort her.

The soldier coughed awkwardly and my eyes shot up, full of contempt. I opened my mouth, ready to rip the soldier a new one.

Before I could say what was on the tip of my tongue, Rhett took a gold cigar case out of his jacket, emptied the contents, and laid it on the pile. "For Miss O'Hara." I mouthed the words _thank you_ to Rhett.

The soldier walked away after bowing to us. Melanie left to talk to somebody, and Rhett and I were alone.

"Scarlett, I couldn't help but notice that you want to dance."

My eyes shot up to Rhett, their earlier contempt returning. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I was angry at the soldier for ignoring status quo and asking Melanie for her jewelry, and I was mad at Melanie for parting with her ring. If Rhett was going to tease me, I wouldn't have it.

"I saw your head bobbing to the music," he stated. Rhett eliminated the distance between us, taking my hand in his.

I swished my fan lightly, suddenly aware of how hot Rhett made me feel.

"Oh, Rhett, if it wouldn't draw attention to Melly, I would." This was true, if not the whole reason. I held back my irritation. At some point, I was going to have to learn how to dance.

"You may have one dance without causing turmoil, I assure you." Rhett's words were kind and unteasing.

"If the right gentleman asks-" I began demurely, my defenses crumbling. But I didn't have time to finish the thought before There was a drumroll and Dr. Meade took the stage, looking very nervous. Melanie joined us, and I absentmindedly wrapped my arm through hers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement. I have a surprise for you- it may shock you, but I ask you to remember that this is for the hospital and for the boys in the hospital."

I glanced at Melanie, knowing that she was behind this. She smiled at me.

Dr. Meade mopped his forehead with a nasty-looking handkerchief. "Gentlemen, if you wish to lead a reel with the lady of your choosing, you must bid for her!"

I looked up to see Rhett's reaction, but he was gone.

A cheer sounded throughout the hall, girls screaming with excitement, boys ready to bid for their ladies.

"Twenty dollars!" Richard Pricard called. "Twenty dollars for Miss Maybelle Merriwether!"

Maybelle collapsed into Fanny's shoulder, bright red. Mrs. Merriwether stated that her belle would not take part in a proceeding, but as Maybelle's name was called more, Mrs. Merriwether stopped protesting. Maybelle's bid was up to seventy-five dollars when I caught sight of Rhett. He was in the middle of the hall, closer to the stage. My heart began pounding, because I knew what he was going to say-

"One hundred and fifty dollars- in gold!"

All of the belles cried out in excitement.

"For whom, sir?" Dr. Meade asked.

His eyes met mine from across the hall. "For Miss Scarlett O Hara."


	5. Chapter 5

The hall quieted and all eyes turned to me. I blushed deeply and used the fan to cover my face. I knew this was coming, but yet, I still felt unprepared. My mind raced, my pulse raced, and my face was on fire.

I was standing there stupidly for a few seconds before Melanie shoved me into the crowd. Rhett was grinning evilly, dashingly; teasing me gently. The crowd parted and the leading musician called to find a partner. The quiet that had once been in the hall was replaced by whispers and the sound of ruffling skirts and scuffing shoes. Rhett bowed, I curtseyed and the music started. Scarlett knew all of these dances, so I let her memories guide me. She was an excellent dancer, and Rhett was, too.

There was a small part of me that wished Rhett would kiss me. There was an even larger part of me that knew if he kissed me, I would definitely fall in love. As a girl, I had always been in love with him. As a woman, I knew I wanted a man who loved me like Rhett had loved Scarlett. Here he was, dancing with me, and all I had to do was bob to the music for him to dance with me. Rhett knew me almost better than I knew myself. I could never hide my secrets or tiny facial expressions from him. He knew the difference between a lip purse that meant I was tired and the lip purse that meant I was annoyed. And most importantly of all, he could sit and read the newspaper while I sat and crocheted- he never felt the need to fill the silence with awkward or dull conversation. I've always felt that silence should be comfortable between two lovers. One should not have to talk to be heard in love.

The music pulled me out of my thoughts- I had to pay close attention to the reel. The dancers would pair up and dance down the middle of the floor while the crowd formed two walls and clapped to the rhythm of the pair would stop at the end of the walls, and another pair would dance down the middle. The song went rather quickly, much to my relief- the whole time I could feel the stares of disapproval and envy alike. When the reel ended, I was very out of breath. I pulled out my fan, which had been tucked away in haste before the reel, and fanned myself quickly. I was thankful for not having makeup on- I would be sweating it off by now. By the end of the reel, I had been dancing with a complete stranger. It almost always made me laugh when men saw me up close. Scarlett's pale face and contrasting dark hair made men nervous, but then to smile at them! I loved the bead of sweat formed on the brow of men who were overtaken by Scarlett's beauty. My last partner bowed awkwardly, I curtseyed gracefully, and we separated.

I looked up at the stage to see the musicians pull out more music, then I looked across the hall to see a still-grinning blockade runner.

Rhett made his way to me, almost swaggering. I put on my best resting bitch face, letting him know how unhappy I was with him. I could see the glint of mischief in his eye, despite the look of apology on his face.

"My dear Miss O'Hara, I do hope you'll forgive me?" He was next to me with his elbow through mine before I could turn and exit.

"You didn't have to make such a scene, Rhett! Melly and Pitty are in mourning and I-"

Rhett's laugh cut me off. It was loud and boisterous, making the entire hall stare at me, once again. This sparked irritation deep in my mind.

"Great balls of fire, Rhett! Have you no shame?" I smacked his arm with one hand while pulling the other out of his. My relationship with Rhett infuriated me thoroughly. One minute, I was mooning over him, desperate for a kiss, and then he said or did something that made me want to slap him silly. I was feeling the latter, and boy, did I have some choice words for him.

He gripped my arm, making it impossible to escape. I looked at him, ready to spit fire, but the look in my eyes caught me off guard. He looked apologetic- sincerely apologetic. "Scarlett," he caressed my name. "I'm sorry, darling."

I narrowed my eyes. "Great balls of fire!" I almost shrieked. I was livid. First, daring to make a spectacle of me, laughing to my face, and now apologizing. "Why are you apologizing, Rhett? Because I'm upset or because you're actually sorry?"

This made him stop in his tracks, catching him off guard, which gave me enough time to snatch my arm out of his. I turned to face him, suddenly infuriated by how he made me feel. "I am not your plaything, Captain Butler!"

The hall was louder now, with the sound of music and talking filling the space. Not a soul in the world cared about us. While we would be the talk of the town tomorrow, we were no longer the talk of the night. I didn't recognize the tune that was playing and I didn't recognize any of the faces in the crowd. All of the peahens were in the corner, each working on needlepoint of some sort.

The music and the noise seemed to fade out as my anger grew hotter. I had waited two months to see him, with only one letter to hold onto, and here he was, making a sight of me! "Rhett, I- I just can't believe you!" I stormed off, ready to go home. I stormed over to the booth where Melanie and Pitty were, pride stinging with humiliation and eyes stinging with tears. I knew Rhett was behind me, but I chose to ignore him. I swooped behind the booth, gathered my things, and looked at Melanie.

"I'm sorry, darling. I find I'm exhausted and want to go home. Don't feel as if you have to come with me, Melly. I'll have Uncle Peter take me home." Tears were beginning to spill over, and I didn't want to fight them. I wrapped a shawl loosely around me and tucked my fan in a makeshift purse.

Melanie knew my relationship with Rhett thoroughly exhausted me. She knew that what I needed was a hot bath and a cup of tea. As I left the booth, she placed her hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

I didn't see Rhett when I left the hall, but only made it three steps outside of the door before I felt his presence.

"Leave me be," I whispered, my voice breaking.

"Scarlett."

I kept walking toward the carriage, hoping Uncle Peter would see me and shoo Rhett away.

"Scarlett. Stop." His voice was calm and almost commanding.

I stopped, heaved a big sigh, and turned to face him. I closed my eyes, counted to five, took a deep breath in, then opened my eyes. "How may I help you, Captain?"

He took a step toward me and I took a step back reflexively. He put his hands up which is his way of telling me he was done fighting. "Scarlett."

"Yes, that's my name," I snapped. I pulled my shawl closer to me.

"I really am sorry," he offered. He slumped his shoulder and stared at something invisible on the ground.

I narrowed my eyes again, ready to bite his head off. "Are you sorry for humiliating me, or are you sorry that I'm mad?" My voice was low and snarling, but it broke on the last word.

"I'm sorry that I humiliated you. I wasn't trying, honestly." His drawl, which I had always found comforting, seemed irritating now. "I wanted to- to- to show you off, Scarlett."

"I'm not yours to show off." I turned and began walking toward the carriage again.

"Fair point as always, Miss O'Hara."

I could hear his footsteps behind me.

"If you even try to touch me, I will slap you so hard you land in next week. No, last week, so you can think about not humiliating me." I started to walk faster, but my short legs were no match for his long ones.

"I won't touch you, then."

I stopped suddenly, my exhaustion catching up to me. I should not have worn my stays so tight. I also skipped dinner because I had been too nervous. Rhett almost tripped over his feet when I stopped.

"Let me make it up to you, Scarlett. I won't embarrass you again."

"And what do you suggest, Mr. Butler?"

He smiled a shit-eating grin at me and my pulse quickened.

"You do waltz divinely, Rhett," I simpered. Rhett and I were on our fourth waltz of the night, taking a break after the first two. It was almost nine in the evening and I knew our night would be ending soon.

Rhett chuckled lightly. "Your flirting won't work on me, Scarlett. I'm not one of your plantation beaux."

I smiled at him. "That you aren't, Captain Butler."

I saw a gentleman approach Rhett and I knew what was going to happen. Several men, soldiers and civilians alike were desperate to dance with me. Not only had Rhett embarrassed me in front of the women, but he had made me desirable to the men. Rhett had bought my reels-all four of them- at seventy-five a piece, almost unadorned in comparison to the first bid. Men were curious as to why I was so alluring and why Rhett deemed I was worth so much.

"May I have this dance?" The gentleman inquired.

Rhett nodded, but not without glaring down the man first. I curtsied, the gentleman bowed and he and I began waltzing. Rhett was by far the most superior partner I had all night, but I was gracious and danced with anybody who asked.

"Miss O'Hara, I believe." This man had kind eyes and a kind smile.

"That would be me," I smiled. "And may I ask who you are?" I let Scarlett's Georgian accent through in full force, almost knocking the gentleman off his feet. This particular man was older than most men I had seen, his beard and hair slightly gray. Halfway through the sentence, it dawned on me that this was Frank Kennedy, Suellen's beau. I winked at him to let him know I was joking. "Why, Frank Kennedy, if you called on me-shame on you for waiting so long- it wouldn't take me so long to recognize you!" I laughed a small, merry laugh, making Frank laugh.

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss O'Hara. I have been very busy. There is a war going on," he offered with a smile.

"Fiddle-dee-dee," I smiled at him. "Have you seen Suellen?"

"No, ma'am. I almost didn't come to the bazaar tonight. I don't have time to make it to the farm."

Frank was an awkward man; his limbs were too long and lanky for his body and his feet refused to move in time with the music. I suppose, in comparison to Rhett, most men are awkward.

"It doesn't make any difference, Mr. Kennedy. Suellen is too young to think about marriage, anyhow." I smiled gently at him. "Why don't you write a letter, and I'll make sure it gets to her? I'm staying with Aunt Pitty. You can visit, too. I'm sure Pitty would be glad to have you!"

Frank's eyes lit up and he nodded in agreement. He was a rather dull man. Suellen should have thanked Scarlett for taking him- she has no idea what she missed.

We continued the rest of the waltz in silence-thank heavens- and when the dance ended, Rhett was by my side.

"I need to sit down, Rhett." My stays were cutting into my ribs and into my oxygen supply. I felt faint and was reminded that I had not eaten, once again. Rhett looped his arm through mine, almost possessively, and led me to a bench. "Rhett, will you go bother Aunt Pitty for her smelling salts?" I sat with my back against the wall, not daring to lean, then pulled out my fan. The air in the hall was hot and the breeze was warm, not really helping me. I made eye contact with Rhett, whose face was full of concern. I smiled half-heartedly at him.

"You aren't going to faint on me again, are you?" His voice was teasing, but his face was serious. I shook my head. "I don't believe we need another scene like the one at the barbecue." He said this with a smirk.

"How unkind of you to bring that up, Captain Butler." My voice was serious, but my face was not. I smiled deeply, showing off dimples.

Rhett laughed uproariously and left in search of smelling salts.

(A/N) Alright, y'all. I'm sorry for the long ass wait and I'm sorry for the short ass chapter. I'm definitely stuck, so don't be disappointed if you find this story abandoned.

Lots of love,

Red


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